Sexytay's Blog

Fingerprints

I just got back from getting fingerprints today at Bank of America. After 8 and a half long months of waiting to convert to full-time employee, it finally happened. Raise, benefits, vacations, sick days, and vacation pay all included. Throw in a small promotion, 401k, and a new badge, and maybe I can tell myself the wait was worth it. And I have no idea how long this job will last at the bank, but I am very appreciative for the opportunity, the job, and I am hopeful it leads to good things.

When I reflect on this last year from when I lost my job to the 2nd months long unemployment stage to now, I can’t help but feel appreciative and lucky and blessed. I think sometimes it can be really hard to not know what to do on a daily basis or hard to go through life without a structured life of work to fill up most of our free time. I think being unemployed exposes my weakness of being lazy and lacking discipline in so many areas, and when I see those weaknesses in myself it causes me to become depressed like or feel helpless. I enjoy being at work, meeting new people, having new friends, and so I thank God He has placed me here. I am not sure I want to work for the bank forever, but who knows, maybe I will be president of the bank someday, and I can look back and see how fortunate I have been and how God can bring you to places you never imagined.

I am thankful God has still managed to bless me because of who He is. I don’t think I deserve much of what I get or have gotten, but yet God still hasn’t given up on me despite the ways I have neglected to come to Him and speak with Him or just meditate on His goodness. I think I have the same prayer requests now that I had last year when I was let go from work. To meditate with God, to pray with God, and to trust in God. I just want to let go and just be appreciative of God’s gifts instead of always trying to be in control of every aspect of my life and trust in the wisdom of me over the wisdom of God.

I have been reading Proverbs with Pastor PJ, and I like the first few chapters because it talks about wisdom and what a precious gift she is. To see the consequences of neglecting wisdom, and trusting in oneself, and choosing your ways over the ways of the Lord has been a good reminder to me.

Proverbs 3: 1-4: My son, do not forget my teaching,
but let your heart keep my commandments,
for length of days and years of life
and peace they will add to you.
Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you;
bind them around your neck;
write them on the tablet of your heart.
So you will find favor and good success
in the sight of God and man.

also Proverbs 3-14-16
Blessed is the one who finds wisdom,
and the one who gets understanding,
for the gain from her is better than gain from silver
and her profit better than gold.
She is more precious than jewels,
and nothing you desire can compare with her.

I pray God would give me wisdom, and that if He does, I would cherish the wisdom of God and not forsake it for the things that the world offers but yet has no long-term eternal significance. I don’t want to be really good at fantasy sports, or really good at making jokes, or someone people think is really nice, if I don’t know how to love someone, pray for someone, or share with them the saving message of Jesus Christ. In fact, when I got the job, I thought, it is nice to have a job, but without Christ’s righteousness, a job really doesn’t matter, and a job can’t save me, only God can. I am really appreciative God died for me, and that He raised from the dead and conquered death so we as sinners could have life. I hope and pray that people who don’t know that truth would someday embrace it, or that if someone thinks life is better without God, that God would give them wisdom and convict them of the lies from the devil or the world.

I am really lucky. Not because I have a great family, a good job, Melody, good looks, really good friends, and other material things, but I am lucky because God rescued me from a path of destruction I had no idea I was even on.

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